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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?